Sunday, May 1, 2016

The Saturday Story

I was sleeping quite soundly for a change when the alarm went off at 5:30 a.m. I put on my bathrobe and stumbled out to meet the day...

I took the obligatory morning piss, then turned on the kitchen light and the coffee maker. Then it hit me: IT'S FUCKING SATURDAY!!!

I was upset with myself for a bit, but then congratulated myself in following my usual workweek protocol.

I tried to fall back asleep (wondering just how long I might have slept without that damn alarm). But, all was for naught.

So I gave up and got up.

I shaved, showered and got dressed for the day.

I turned on the morning news and thought about breakfast. I didn't feel like making anything, but I needed something to take my pills with. I settled on a cup of coffee and Ritz crackers topped with the last of the peanut butter.

I started the first load of the weekend wash, stuck the stove grates into the dishwasher and turned that on as well.

At 9:00 a.m., I headed out on my short errand run. I'm not going grocery shopping (though I need things). It's my intent to empty the fridge's freezer so I can thaw it out and clean the fridge.

So, first stop was the corner gas station. The low fuel light came on yesterday. I do miss my little Arab friend, but she has joined the Navy and I'm proud of her! We never exchanged names, but she had beautiful eyes and a killer smile.

Next came the Post Office for more stamps (damn the doctor bills you can't pay online) and to mail a couple of packages. Final stop was CVS for more mouthwash and a couple of kids birthday cards (B___'s grand-kids).

Back home, I changed into my work clothes after treating Caley. I turned off the TV and turned on WDET on the stereo. The clothes in the dryer were just about done, so I waited until they finished and hung or folded them.

Next, I went in the garage and got down the line trimmer. For some reason, the lawn crew is letting the ferns and jack-in-the-pulpits grow outside the log barriers in the wild garden. WTH? But, when I tried to trim them, the damn battery was dead. Sigh...

So, I put the battery on the charger (it's 18 volt and I only have the one) and went out front to get the stupid paper in.

Sidebar: Every weekend, the Detroit Free Press throws a free paper on my driveway. It comes in a bright pink plastic bag and is mostly ads. But there are one or two pages of true newsprint. I save those for the charcoal chimney and pitch the rest.

Anyway, as I was checking out my flowers, a little squirrel ran right up to me! He sat on his rear legs and tail and raised his front paws, like he was begging! I tried to explain I didn't have any peanuts on me, but he just sat there. So, I told him to wait a minute, went into the house and grabbed some peanuts and went back outside. He was running around in the grass, but came back when I called to him. So, I tossed him a peanut. Another squirrel came over to get into the action.

So, now I'm the squirrel whisperer...

(The neighbors probably figure I'M the nut.)

I went out back and moved four more wheelbarrow loads of sand before my back started to complain. The sand was a lot heavier from the rain the other day. I left the wheelbarrow and shovel next to the garden, thinking I would get back to it later in the day (that was a mistake).

I checked on the battery for the trimmer and it was charged up. So, I trimmed around the wild garden. Then I filled the feeders. There were a lot of those red maple things (that drop before the helicopter seeds) everywhere, so I got the blower and blew off both patios and the fire pit slab.

I locked up the shed and went in to take a nap.

When I woke up, it was 5:30 p.m. and I was hungry. So, I washed the stove top with Soft Scrub and got the grates out of the dishwasher.

I decided to make another BLT, but wanted a side (I need to buy some chips or pickles or something!)  I still had two Kogel's hot dogs left, so I sliced them into rounds and nuked them. I opened a can of Bush's Grilling Beans, put them in a saucepan with the hot dogs and warmed them up.

Sidebar: I guess this was my gourmet version of my mother's sliced hot dogs in Campbell's pork and beans dish, LOL!

While they were warming, I made another BLT. Then I ate a delicious dinner, watching the news.

I decided I'd done enough for the day, so I farted around on Facebook, watched some TV, watched the 11:00 p.m. news and the Saturday Night Live (naps really help to extend my sleeping time!) Then I went to bed.