Sunday, March 6, 2016

The Saturday story

It was snowing when I woke up to the alarm on Saturday. I stumbled around in a fog (I slept lousy last night) until I had my first cup of coffee. I didn't eat, but took my pills (I had to fast this morning). I turned on the news at 6:00 a.m.

They immediately scared me with how many accidents there were in and around Detroit. Apparently, there is black ice along with the snow. So I decided to leave early for my doctor's appointment in Clinton Township.

Sidebar: One thing I know is that Wayne County is terrible with winter plowing and salting. I saw that clearly when I lived in St. Clair, Michigan. On my way to work, I would go through St Clair county on I-94 on a snowy day and the roads would be plowed and salted. Same thing on I-94 through Macomb county. But the moment you hit I-94 and 8-Mile, everything changed to treacherous. 

So, I was afreaded...

I hustled and left at 8:30 a.m. But the roads here were just wet. And they were just wet all the way. I got there way too early for my 9:45 a.m. appointment. So, I sat and waited... and waited... and waited...

My only consolation was that the woman who had a 9:15 a.m. appointment was still waiting with me.

Sidebar: I know this annoys some people, but not me. Medical shit happens. Doctors get stuck on their hospital rounds or the previous patient required a lot more attention. I wouldn't want to be in with a doctor who said "Crap, I got a 9:45 a.m. with John. I'll get back to you after you reschedule."

Finally, I got called in by my favorite Hispanic nurse. It turned out this my not a normal checkup, but my physical. So, I had a lot of blood drawn, an EKG, etc., and, when my doctor showed up, a prostate exam.

Sidebar: A prostate exam with a woman doctor is a funny thing. The many ones I've had with male doctors, they just ask you to drop your drawers and bend over. But, my doctor gives me two sheets, asked me to drop my drawers and put one on the table and to cover myself with the other and to roll over on my side, facing the wall. Then she leaves the room and knocks on the door a bit later, asking if I was ready. Then she does the procedure.

Doc, I ain't that shy!

Anyway, we talked a lot about my GIRD diagnosis. I told her about my online searches and how I'd changed my habits (not drinking so much coffee, eating yogurt every day, eating dinner earlier, etc.) She said those were good moves, but then she dropped the bomb! She said one of the side effects of Celebrex was GIRD!!!

I said, "Well, then I'm fncked! Because I can't function without Celebrex!" She said she understood, but never, ever take it from now on until after I eat something.  Got it!

All my blood work came back okay. My cholesterol was great, BTW. 

Then we finally talked about the one thing I cared about: This stupid lump on my right bicep. I told her that Carla had said it you could move it, it wasn't bad and she agreed. But, after feeling it, she said she wanted some x-rays.

So, my chica took some. Afterward, I told her they wouldn't work because she didn't say "Take a breath and hold it!" before each one. She laughed (a lot).

My doctor reviewed them (apparently they did work) and came in to talk to me. She said it is not attached to my bone (that's good) but it seems to be interfering with both my  blood vessels and nerves (that's bad).

Sidebar: This may explain my shoulder pain of late. I thought it was my rotator cuff.

She said it has to come out. She recommended that I call St. Mary Mercy and ask for a "general" surgeon (she knows I live far away). She also gave me  the name of a surgeon out in Clinton Township in case I couldn't find one. I asked if this would be out-patient surgery and she said she doubted it...


This getting old sucks!!! I was supposed to die before I hit 30 years old. WTF did I do wrong?

I headed back home in the snow. Normally, after making this hike, I would drop by B___ or Carl's house, but I was depressed. First cataracts and now this? Besides, my Puerto Rican crew is supposed to come over on Sunday and I had to clean the house.

Now it was over two hours, so it was after noon that I had spent at the doctors and I was starving!!! So, I pulled into a National Coney Island on Groesbeck, somewhere south of Common Road. I ordered two eggs, over easy, sausage and hashbrown with rye toast.

It was delicious and I left my very attentive waitress a big tip.

Sidebar: Leave your waitress a big tip. They deserve it!!! My sister-in-law Betty taught me that!

I stopped at Home Depot and got some paint brushes, etc. for tomorrow.

I finally got home. I treated the cat and then took a nap.

B___ called and woke me up. I spent a long time whining about my health. But he sympathsed. He has his own issues.

Then I started to clean the house. It wasn't easy, because I still have all that soot to deal with. So, it's clean, but looks dirty.

I gave up and ate some dinner. I just reheated the cauliflower, topped it with butter and salt and called it good.

I didn't see anything on TV that was interesting so I went to bed.


  1. "I was supposed to die before I hit 30 years old. WTF did I do wrong?"

    Nothing. You had to hit 33 so I could be born. I can't explain what the heck you did after that though.

  2. Jake is right, with out hitting 33, Carla would not be here to help you.
    Let me know what's going on, I can be your assigned drive.

  3. @ Jake: Yeah, I suppose me surviving was kinda important to you, LOL!
    @ GPF: We'll see. I'll let you know, bro.